this SUICIDAL feeling `` tag: Angelina

[Sophia Gregori]

It was a cool day, the sun hidden behind clouds and a soft breeze wafted through the yard, ruffling the hem of my skirt and jacket, playing dance with my hair as I stood, leaning against the fence with my bag at my feet, fingers flipping through a book about wolves, which I loved wolves, they were one of my favorite animals. I've been a wolf too which yea, you probably think I'm crazy. I'm not. Both my mom and me can turn into animals if we pet them, be near or anyway else. All the woman in the family can. Anyway, while looking at the photos of the wolf pup with their mother, I felt a shadow cross my path, eyes snapped over to see Krissy and her group of girls. Ever since the janitor shot himself in front of me and another after raping and abusing us, we were always cornered and bullied on. "What do you want?" I demanded, in no mood for her games, words or tricks. "Poor baby is going to throw a tantrum. All we are doing is standing here." Right, and pigs fly outta my butt.

I knew what they were like, that was just the tip of the iceberg. Snarling, I pushed past them, picking up my bag as they reached out, tugging on the strap. As the bag split, contents spilled everywhere from my pens and pencils, to school books, the bell rang signaling class so they all laughed while heading off to class. I however, knelt down and collected my things, shoving them back into my bag while grumbling to myself, fingers latching over a piece of cat fur. I had forgotten that Fen had tried sleeping in my bag last night, so of course he left his fur. Picking up the fur and shouldering the bag, I focused myself, feeling the changes begin. Thankfully, the magick that flowed through my veins allowed me to keep clothing and the bag without worrying, and soon I was a tabby colored cat, the power and confidence of the cat now flowed through me, and with elegance and grace, I bounded along, away from the school and towards home, which took little time considering how fast a cat could be.

Shifting back and heading towards the house, I stared around, hand touched the doorhandle, twisting and noting it was locked, that meant my mother was out, probably shopping. Noble was out back, I heard his back and called out to him, "its okay Noble, just me." I was greeted with another bark, this one happy, as I jumped over the fence and was greeted with kisses. Fen was sleeping on the warm stone steps along with Sacred, the kitty door was unlocked to allow the cats in and out, and looking around, I figured the others would be inside. We also had Spec, Noodle, Regal, Bright Eyes and Necro Kittie, plus a barrage of other animals. "Hey Fen, hey Sacred. How long has mom been out?" I asked, of course getting no answer except looks since I woke them up. Figures, and snickering to myself, I headed around to my window, unlatching the lock with ease having done this before, opening up the window and slipping in, feeling the warmth of the house steal over me.

Hearing nothing, and the silence was getting to me, I sat down on the edge of my bed, dumping the bag at my feet and laying down. Urges, simple and direct coursed through my body, knowing simply what they were. I was not able to escape no matter how much I wanted to, my own mind was a deep pool of despair sometimes. Sitting up suddenly, I opened up the draws, taking out both a knife and bottle of tablets, a debate ran through my head. Hearing the soft paw taps at my door told me that one of the cats was out there, probably knowing what was going to happen. Setting the bottle down, I placed the knife tip at my wrist, cutting deep, the first signs of blood began to drip....

[Angelina Gregori]

While Sophia was at school I'd taken care of the housework, including feeding our menagerie of animals their breakfast. We had our own veritable zoo, with everything from reptile, to birds, to dozens of four legged furries. It kept Sophia and I in touch with our powers, our ability to shapeshift or morph into that of an animal. We both loved animals, and having a slew of them around was one thing that helped both of us keep our heads above water. Depression was as hereditary as our mutation, and I'd unwittingly passed that along to my daughter as well. It ate me up inside at times to think that I caused her depression. I know that's not entirely true, but it was my genes that carried the trait to her. There were days when I wished I hadn't been born, so that I'd never have passed this on to Sophia. She was my light and my life, and to have unknowingly caused her to suffer was an ever present thorn in my side.

Once the house was in order and the animals fed, I hit the grocery store, stocking up on all the supplies and food we'd need to get us through another week. It took 2 carts to carry everything I purchased, granted one was full of stuff for the animals. Food, litter, and toys. The other cart had our basic amenities. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, body wash, dish washing liquid, paper towels, kleenex, and of course, more food. When we used our powers, we were likely to end up famished once we reverted to our human form. It goes along with the theory that everything is energy. We consume a massive amount of energy when we shift, therefore we need to replenish via food. At the checkout counter, I slid my card through the machine and helped the clerk finish bagging. I thanked her and wheeled both carts to my SUV, shoving bags in, careful not to squish anything like the bread. I really hated to end up home with a loaf of bread that had been smashed under a 20 pound bag of dog food. All said and done, I returned the carts, and headed for home.

I tapped the button on the visor as I pulled in, opening the garage door. Grabbing as many bags as I could carry and fumbling with my keys, I managed to get into the house without dropping anything. I set the bags along the kitchen counter and on the floor, then went back to the SUV to retrieve more. It took me 3 trips before everything was in the house. Spec offered to help, but all she really wanted was to nose around in the pet food. "Off with you. I've got to put everything away first, then you can see your prizes." She mewed up at me, earning her a scratch under the chin before I scooted her from the kitchen. I didn't need to be tripping over the cats while I organized.

I was finishing up with the dry goods when Noble came pawing at the back sliding glass door. He looked worried, and I opened the door to let him in. "What is it Noble? Timmy stuck in the well?" I joked as I kneeled down to rub his ears. He whimpered and kept shifting his eyes to Sophia's room. "She's at school, boy, you know that." He whined again, anxiously dancing on his paws. "Alright, come on. You can see for yourself." I slipped my hand under his collar and lead him to Sophia's room. I opened the door while looking at Noble. "See, she's not.....BLOODY HELL!" I let go of Noble and we both rushed into the room. He immediately began licking Sophia's face. "Oh Soph, no, no." I gripped her wrist gently, and lowered her other hand and the knife away from her. Tears coursed down my cheeks even as I ripped a strip off the bottom of my t-shirt and wrapped it around her wrist. I scooted Noble over and sat next to Sophia on the bed, cradling her to me, stroking her hair and rocking her. "Oh, ducks, what happened, huh?" I kissed the top of her head, glad I'd made it home in time to stop her from taking her own life. Now I was fighting against myself as well, cursing myself for giving this to her, fighting not to be dragged down into that familiar black hole. I couldn't lose Sophia, I just couldn't. It would mean the end of my life as well.

[Sophia Gregori]

Numb, blissful and mind numbingly numb, I stared at the crimson fluid as it started making its way down my wrist, it tickled lightly, leaving behind a red trail, and feeling a goofy smile upon my face as I stared, my ears vaguely heard the sounds of someone pulling up in the drive, my mind didn't register who it was, the sounds of bags and talking slithered their way into my hearing range, then I actually became aware of who it was. I didn't even have the energy to drop the knife, instead, dragging the blade slower across my wrist yet not getting too far as the door opened, Noble rushed in along with my mother, my eyes wide as I snarled, not meaning too, but I couldn't help it. "Don't touch me." I warned, knowing she wouldn't take the words seriously even if I held a gun. One thing I knew about my mother, she wouldn't just stand and let me be, and I wouldn't continue doing what I was doing with her by my side. Even if it was a gun in hand and not a knife, I would've dropped the gun. My mother was the only one in my life I could trust.

Feeling the rough tongue along my cheek, I winced at the slight pain, before the knife was easily slipped from my fingertips, part of my mothers shirt was ripped so it could be wrapped around my wrist, while I tried to move away, I wasn't able to, no matter what I tried doing. See, as I mentioned about the janitor, no one knew about the rape and abuse, well in my case anyway. I don't know if Jessica, the other girl, spoke about it but I kept my mouth shut, seeing his head blown off was enough for me to keep quiet. I didn't want to think about it, or deal with it, all I wanted for my own sanity was to forget about it. So of course, my mother had no idea, and it killed me to keep such a secret from her. But how could I say such a thing? I didn't want her feeling all guilty, she already felt guilty for passing on the depression, which by the way, is not her fault. I'd rather be here with it and with her, than be without it and without her.

Without speaking, without saying a single word, I cuddled into her, my free hand grabbing Noble carefully and cuddling into his warm and soft fur. Damn it, I wished I could talk with my mind instead of actually speaking, my voice seemed to have vanished, my body in shock at the whole events. After a few moments, I pointed to the top draw, trying to indicate that my journal was in there, that everything she needed to know was on those pages. Did I care that she would see the bottle of tablets? No, not really. I don't think she would be shocked after the 'seeing your daughter try and kill herself' nor would the cuts under my sleeves shock her either. Its funny how one event can make you desensitized to things that would normally shock you. Well okay, not laughing funny, more like interesting funny. "What you need to know, is in my journal." Those words were in case, she wasn't watching or anything else, because frankly, I couldn't, no, I wouldn't, speak.

[Angelina Gregori]

I huffed, the rush of breath ruffling Sophia's hair. I leaned back and extended my arms so that I could get a better look at her, but I didn't let go. She wanted me to read it in her journal? Since when couldn't she talk to me? "If I wanted to read your private thoughts, I'd have done it long ago." I knew that whatever had happened, she didn't want to speak of it, which left the only option, to actually read her journal. I felt odd about going through her things. I trusted Sophia, and she trusted me. But, I was her mother, and I needed to know what was wrong with her, what had happened to trigger this event. I kissed her cheek softly. "You scared the bollocks out of me. I can't lose you Soph." I wiped the tears from my cheeks, and reluctantly reached for the drawer she indicated and pulled out her journal. "Mind you, this will be the ONLY time I read this." I waved the book in front of me before flipping it open and turning to the back of the book. I was looking only for the most recent entry, the rest I didn't need to read.

Noble curled up on the bed, half his body laying over me so that his head rested in Sophia's lap. Fen and Sacred were at the doorway, and I could see Spec in the hall. Animals were attuned to their owners, and they could sense when one of us was in pain. Fen took the initiative and entered her room, trotting over to wind himself around Sophia's ankles. I slipped one arm around her as I read the journal entry. As I read on, I tensed, an instant reaction. By the time I finished reading her entry, and replaced her journal, I was livid, rigid with anger. Not at Sophia, for she'd done nothing wrong. I was angry at myself, the janitor, and the whole damned school. "Is this why you're not at school right now? Is this all that's happened? Sophia, if there's more you have to tell me." I fought back my anger and my tears. I could not fall apart on my daughter now. She needed me, and she needed me to be strong. I didn't care about a bottle of pills, about the scar she'll have on her arm from this attempt. My own arms were scarred to hell and back, luckily most of them had faded and weren't visible unless they were in direct sunlight. Even then, you had to look closely. I understood all of that. What I couldn't wrap my mind around is why she hadn't come to me immediately. Had I failed her in some way?

I knew I needed to pull her from school. There was no way I would send her back there, day after day. Not after what had happened. "I'm pulling you from school. We'll figure something out, a new school, or home schooling. But you are not going back there." I thought a moment, then looked back up at my daughter. "You don't want to go back there, do you?" I knew she had some problems with other kids at the school, but that was the norm, or so I'd been lead to believe. Now, I wasn't so sure. I felt....out of it. I had the need to take control of the situation, but it was too late, wasn't it? I couldn't prevent what had happened, any of it, and now I come home to find my daughter about to commit suicide. I had very little to grasp onto, and I held on for dear life to the single thread that held me aloft, dangling dangerously above my own black pit of despair.

[Sophia Gregori]

The words lingered in the air, bringing a faint smile to my lips. "I-I know that, I-" Shaking my head, I felt sick, and slightly faint and dizzy. The other words made my throat close up, feeling like a giant golf ball was stuck so carefully, I took a few deep breaths, "I'm sorry mom, I didn't know what to do." Truer words have never been spoken, having felt lost and out of place. Jeezums, I wasn't even planning this either, just something that happened you know? "That is fine." I resumed silence as she read, knowing I had to be extremely lucky to have a wicked cool mother. Most mothers read their child's journal, or was nosy or whatever. My mother was understanding but she wasn't pushy unless needed. She knew when to give space and when to just say fuck it and ignore it, in those cases it was most likely when I was upset and most people I pushed away, my mother was the only one who knew me enough, and who I was really safe with. Like I'd already mentioned, I trusted her more than anyone.

While she red, I stared at the animals, Fen came in and I carefully picked him up before he could do anything else, and in that instant he placed his head under my chin and snuggled, rubbing his neck upon my arm and cuddling into me, not wanting to leave. All animals knew when their owners were hurt or in pain or hurting on the inside. These cats lived with us, knew what we were like. They were better than some stuck up know-it-all human that wanted to help. All of these little fuzzballs were like our own counselor, we felt better after just cuddling into one, we knew they would never hurt or abandon us. We were very fortunate. "Sorry Noble," I petted his head. "Sorry Fen, sorry guys." All I got was stares of such intelligence and understanding that I nearly burst into tears. Some people say that animals were dumber than humans, I disagree. Take one look at these guys, and you will know they are truly special.

Feeling mom tense, I looked up, before she spoke and I shook my head, not wanting to ever think of that again. "Isn't that enough? Isn't knowing I was-" I struggled to find the voice, "raped, and abused enough? Why do I have to think about it, relieve it? I don't want to ever go back there, it was awful." I began to shake, Noble, thinking something was wrong stared up, a soft whine coming from his jaw. "I cried no, I wanted him to stop, the pain was incredible. Day after day, for a few weeks, I couldn't, lost the energy, no matter where I went he would watch I-" Breaking off again, I pulling the blankets from my bed with such force that I would have to remake it. Dammit. Pulling the blanket over me, I wished for the darkness to take me. "Then the day he died, he took me and Jessica, I don't know what was in his mind, but he placed the gun in his mouth and." And then he pulled the trigger. The aftermath of that would be forever in my head. I'd be hundred and still remember every detail. "Why me? Why did he pick me? Whats wrong with me?" I whimpered, shaking like I did after a nightmare.

"I don't ever want to go back." I was sorry I hadn't mentioned this before hand, and I curled up into my mother sobbing. "Please don't leave me mommy, please. I don't want you too." Cuddling her, Fen and Noble at the same time, the other cats slowly began making their way in. "Mom, it's not you fault, please don't think it is." We had to be there for one another, had to keep each other above the darkness. We knew what we went through, what our minds could do to us. If we stuck together, "please don't leave."

[Angelina Gregori]

My heart was breaking for my daughter, and that I was powerless to help her. I'd been powerless to stop these horrors from happening to her, and now I was equally as powerless to make them disappear. I cradled her to me, stroking her hair and back as we both cried. "I'm so sorry Soph." It was all I could say. I had no voice to tell her how angry I was at the situation, how despicable the scenario was, how evil a man this janitor had been, how corrupt the school was for employing a criminal. And under it all I felt a terrible, gnawing guilt. I should have known, I should have seen the changes in Sophia and acted sooner. I could have done something, said something, and maybe I could have prevented it all from happening. I know it's unrealistic, but as a mother, I was unable to stop these thoughts and feelings.

Tears fell freely now. "There's nothing at all wrong with you." Aside from the shitty genes I passed on to you, I thought. "You're smart. You're beautiful. You're special. You didn't do anything to deserve this. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." My voice was soft, contrary to the raging emotions inside. I wanted to march into that school and tear the staff to shreds. But that wouldn't help Sophia, and she was my first priority. Fresh tears welled up as she begged me not to leave, and suddenly she was small once more, a child in my arms, figuratively of course. "Shhh, hush ducks, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." I nodded, not that she could see, but it was an attempt to tell her that I accepted it wasn't my fault. However, my own thoughts told me otherwise thanks to my screwed up chemistry. I clung to my daughter as if she would keep me sane. In a way, it was the truth. I could fight off my own depression and anxieties when I put her first, and I always put Sophia first.

We stayed that way for a time, each of the kitties coming in to peek on us, give us a cuddle, Noble stretched over us both. If the other animals were out, they'd have wound up in here too. "Soph, promise me, that when you feel like this, you tell me. I won't make you go to a shrink. I won't judge you. But I need to know. If I can help, I need to know. In return, I'll tell you when I'm slipping." Our closeness had kept me alive years past my due, in my mind. I'd attempted suicide twice while pregnant, deathly afraid I'd pass this debilitating disease to my child. And I had. But I'd also gained so much more in having Sophia in my life. I never tried to terminate the pregnancy, just my own life. However, later I realized that in claiming my own life then, I would also be killing my child. That guilt still ate at me to this day. Either way, I'd doomed her.

"In the morning, I'll go into the school, collect your things, and pull you from the system. From there we'll look into another place." It was fortunate on the janitor's part that he was already dead, otherwise I'd have taken much pleasure in shifting to a bear or a wildcat and ripping him limb from limb.

[Sophia Gregori]

We were both sorry for things, and I just lay there, in my mothers arms, crying and hugging and cuddling the animals, in some weird way, I felt a little better. At least things were out in the open now and hopefully, the healing could begin. Nodding softly at her words, feeling sick to my stomach though, I glanced upwards, it wasn't my fault even though I constantly thought that, and knowing she wasn't going anywhere made me feel safer. "I'm sorry mommy." I whispered, not moving an inch, just staying still under the blanket. It was my favorite blanket, a mink blanket which kept me warm and snug, not to mention, the kitties loved sleeping on it so I had to be careful to get it first otherwise I would lose it for the night. Not that I minded most nights anyway, unless it got really cold. Although that was only in winter though so it was all good. At least most nights it wasn't deathly freezing outside, and the house did have a wicked heating system.

Even though part of me wanted to argue that something was wrong with me, otherwise he wouldn't have done this to men, I stayed silent, knowing it would do no good to argue. Instead I was resigned to deep breathing to control my emotions. "I promise mom, I promise I'll come straight to you." I whispered, knowing that I'd keep it. I knew she wouldn't judge me, she didn't even have to say it. If she was going to judge, then she would have already done so, but it wasn't in her nature to do that. I just wished I realized this sooner, than I wouldn't have to have gone through this all alone, and from that moment I vowed to not keep these things secret. "Okay, just as long as its someplace that isn't like the old school." I hated it, I hated everyone there, I was glad to not have to go back. At first it was okay, until recent months, so leaving was definitely something good, and only positive things could come from leaving. "I hate it there." I voiced out my thoughts, carefully moving my legs so they didn't get numb, and so I didn't push one of the animals from the bed.

"Can we, maybe get something to eat? I kinda shifted when I was at school and came home." I said truthfully. "I forgot that Fen had snoozed in my bag so I found some of his hairs, and now, I'm pretty hungry." I didn't blush at the words, no need, she would understand because she had it too. After shifting, we were starved. It took energy to shift, only those in our family with this ability would understand how much energy you expelled when actually shifting. Hell, I didn't believe it at first when I was younger till I tried it. It's also very calming. Being an animal is just amazing, and I've grown to admire, love, and care so much more for the animals around us that some days, I consider myself part of their world. I don't think they mind either.

[Angelina Gregori]

I leaned over to plant a kiss on my daughter's head. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, ducks. I love you." My British accent was heavy, fueled by my emotions. Generally it was barely detectable, unless I got emotional, then it came on quite heavy. I grew up in England, traveled throughout Europe before coming to the States, meeting Markus, and having Sophia. Due to some...interesting events, Markus was never told about Sophia. Some days it weighed on me terribly, though I had not intentionally denied him his daughter. I smiled softly as she promised to come to me whenever she felt down. "Thank you, Soph." I couldn't fix her, but I could understand, having to deal with the same afflictions myself. Sometimes that's all that counts.

"I know, ducks, I know." I resumed stroking her hair. "We'll look into schools together, and you can choose where you want to attend." I knew there were places out there that dealt specifically with gifted youths, mutants to be exact. We could look into those places as well, and Sophia would have free reign to decide where she wanted to get her education. She knew the importance of having an education, and wasn't against it. She was a brilliant girl, and if she were in an enviroment that was helpful instead of harmful, I knew she'd thrive.

Things seemed to reach a point of normalcy, normal for us that is, and I was thankful that a potential crisis had been averted. I was extremely grateful to Noble, or I may have found Sophia too late. I reached over and scratched behind his ears, just how he likes. "It's well good then, that Fen decided to nap in your bag." I smiled. "Of course, ducks. I just returned from the market, so we're stocked. What sounds good? Something fairly quick I'm assuming. How about chicken alfredo and salad? You can whip up the salad while I start the chicken, if you'd like to help." My precious daughter, I'd do anything to keep her safe. I just had to overcome the feeling that I'd failed her in some way. We could only move forward, never looking back. It's what kept us alive, and being together kept us strong.

[Sophia Gregori]

"I love you too mom." I replied, giving her half a hug and feeling very safe and secure, something that I always felt when at home, with my mother. Nothing was better, she was understanding and never judging, even from a young age. When my powers came through, I was taught, never once was I called or was told I was a freak. This opened up my eyes and I was glad it had failed and I was found, "its okay, I'm just-" I broke off with a slight laugh. "I was going to say I was sorry, old habits die hard." My eyes were serious at the end of my sentence at the die word, knowing how close I was, well I wasn't about to repeat the experience. "Okay cool! As long as its safe and everything then I'll be fine with it." I was nearly bouncing at the thought of going to a new school. Some would hate it but me, it would be the thing that was needed, a fresh start. A place where I didn't have to hide or be scared to go.

"I'll be happy to help!" I grinned, sitting up and throwing the blanket off my body, knowing I didn't need that warmth right now, and stretched my limbs. "Fen, gotta move little one." Carefully I picked him up, setting him down near my pillow, his favorite spot, where he looked at me before curling up into a tabby colored ball. Too cute. Scratching Noble's fur, I reset the blanket so I wouldn't get annoyed with it later before giving mom another hug before heading out the door, into the hallway and into the kitchen. "Its okay guys." I called to the animals who were milling around the kitchen, seemingly satisfied with the answer they began playing with each other. Sacred would no doubt try and find Fen, they loved playing with one another. With that done, I reached up, grabbing down a large salad bowl, reaching into the fridge for the ingredients for the salad, something that would keep my mind occupied was good and needed. As I set about fixing up a salad, the phone rang making me freeze. I had skipped out on half a day of school so I wasn't going to answer in case it was the school.

[Angelina Gregori]

"You're a peach, ducks." I kissed her head again as she settled Fen and her blanket and headed to the kitchen to finish putting away the groceries and start our early dinner. Most of the kitties were milling around the kitchen, until Sophia announced she was okay. That seemed to put them at ease as one by one, or in twos and threes, they wandered off to play or nap in the sun. I had finished up placing everything and started warming a skillet for the chicken breasts lying on the counter when the phone rang. "Oh bollucks. Keep an eye on the skillet will you ducks? I've got it." A single glance at my daughter confirmed we had the same thought, it was her school calling to report on her. Well, I had a few things on my mind to say to them as well.

"Hello?" I answered. "Lina, it's good to hear your voice." I blanched, turning my back to the kitchen. "Markus. What a surprise. What made you decide to call?" It had been ages since I last heard from Markus, Sophia's biological father. His work kept him busy, so I was truly shocked at the unexpected call. "There's something I'd like to discuss with you. Is now a bad time?" "No, no, it's quite alright. Work related?" I paused to step into the kitchen and turn down the skillet before retreating once more. "Uh, no. I'm afraid this is personal." "Alright then. Shoot." Tension formed a tight ball in my stomach. Did he know about Sophia? He didn't sound angry, but that meant little this far into the conversation. "Why didn't you tell me about Sophia?" And there it was, just like that, he knew.

I slumped onto the sofa, elbows on my knees, one hand supporting my forehead as I sighed. "Markus....I...." I took a deep breath. "Things were so chaotic then, in both our lives. I didn't want to keep this from you, and I apologize for that. I just..." He interupted. "Lina, I understand. If anyone at my job would have found out, they'd have brought her in and performed God only knows what tests and experiments on her. You were protecting her. Does she know? About me?" I bit my lip. "No." It was barely audible, but he'd heard. "I see. So. Is it possible then, that we could meet? Lina, I don't want to disrupt your life, but I have a right to know my daughter." "You do, and I can't deny you that. I've denied you both for too long." I looked up to see Sophia standing in the doorway. "I have a lot to tell you, but now's not the right time. Can I come by tonight? Say around 7?" We'd be finished with dinner by then, and I'd have time to explain things to Sophia. "Yes, that'll be fine. See you then." We signed off and I placed the phone back on it's cradle.

I went back to the kitchen, turned the skillet back up, though it was plenty hot, and started browning the chicken. Filling a large pot with water and a dash of olive oil, I set it to boil for the noodles. "Soph, we've a guest coming round at 7. I....I have much to tell you before then. You alright?" I wasn't sure she could handle this much after today's events. Hell, I wasn't sure I could handle it. When she confirmed that she was ok, I forged on. It was obvious from her questioning gaze that she knew I was bothered. "It's....your father. He's coming to see us." There, I'd said it.

[Sophia Gregori]

Reaching over, I turned the cold tap on, the rush of cold water cascaded into the sink as I placed the lettuce into the sink and allowing the water to run over it, using my hands to wash any bits that were hard to reach before picking up a clump, draining the rest of the water from the leaves before setting it into the bowl, quickly turning off the tap and smiling as the last of the water drained away. Grabbing a knife and the tomatoes, I carefully sliced each one in half, then in quarters before setting them upon the lettuce, I would add cheese later on, adding it now would just make the cheese go all funny because of the still damp lettuce leaves. And that really irked me sometimes, but tonight, I thought ahead. Continuing to finish up the salad, I turned my head, nodding towards my mother, "sure thing, I won't let anything happen." I grinned, knowing she would know I would watch it like a hawk. And I should be able to use that expression since I had been a hawk once.

Finishing up the salad, and keeping watch on the skillet too, I reached over to pull a seat and sat down behind the breakfast bar watching as Noble headed outside and just sprawled out into the sun, lucky dog, before looking back as mom was talking on the phone, and judging from the words being said, it wasn't the school. Feeling sick, I stood up, aware she had turned the skillet down which made it easier to abandon my post and walk silently and swiftly, reaching the door and standing, worry evident in my eyes as I wondered who she was talking to, and what they were talking about. Things seemed to move at a sluggish pace in my brain, and when she ended the call, I was about to barrage her with questions, well, only a couple. "Whats going on? Who was?" I couldn't finish, instead placed my head in my hands and rubbed at my temples, the torn strip of fabric still hung around my wrist, the edges tickled my skin although that was the least of my worries.

Following her into the kitchen, I sat back down in my seat and made sure the salad was still okay, and satisfied, I sat back, waiting for her to speak, which she did. "A guest? You mean whoever was on the other end of the line?" I asked, raising my eyes at her words, what could this mean? "Of course I'm alright, whats going on?" I gasped when she spoke, feeling as if my whole world rolled upside down. Standing suddenly and wringing my hands, I was overcome with emotions which I tried to get a good grasp on. Shock, anger, disbelief were the main ones. "Your not getting rid of me are you?" The most dumbest thing that could ever escape my jaw was that, knowing instantly the moment I said it how dumb it sounded. Of course that wasn't it, but I was still worried. "Why? Why now? I, gosh I don't know what else to say." Moving away from my seat, I went to the sliding glass door, staring out at Noble in the sun, "is something wrong?" Turning around, I looked directly at my mother, wondering what the hell prompted him, my father, to make an appearance.

[Angelina Gregori]

I dropped the garlic seasoning I was about to sprinkle on the chicken. "Lord, no! Soph, I'd never get rid of you!" I turned to her, taking her arms and pulling her into a fierce hug. "I fought for you, you're mine, and it's going to stay that way." I relaxed, seeing that Sophia was just worried and anxious. Surely she knew I'd never dump her, even if I was overwhelmed, I'd never let my daughter go. "Nothing's wrong." I said, turning back to tend to the chicken and drop fettachine noodles into the pot. "Nothing apart from what I did years ago." I sighed, tapping the wooden spoon I'd used to stir the noodles on the side of the pot and setting it in the spoon cozy. I turned and leaned against the counter, the food cooking next to me so I could keep an eye on it.

"Soph, when I found out I was pregnant with you, I never told Markus...your father. He works for several high profile scientific agencies, and if some of the people he worked with were to learn that we'd conceived a child, they would have taken you. I'd have been powerless to stop them. Who knows where they'd have taken you, what they'd have done to you." I stepped forward, reaching to take her arms again, running my hands from her shoulders down to her elbows and back up. " I couldn't lose you. Markus is like us, a mutant. His powers are mainly in telekenesis, which you could easily develop before you turn 21. These people that work with him would keep you locked up, evaluating your strengths and weaknesses, exploiting you for thier own gain. You are not a science experiment, you're my daughter!" I was shaking, the chicken sizzling beside and behind me. I dropped my arms and went to turn over the chicken breasts so they didn't burn.

"Please understand, I did it to protect you. They couldn't find me, they had no reason to when I left Markus. But if he'd known about you, they could have extorted the information from him, and you'd be lost to me. Soph, if they took you from me, I'd lose it. I'd go completely off my trolley, and probably would have taken my own life. But now....you're older, you're smart and strong. And Markus has a right to know you, just as you have a right to know your father. Please forgive me, I never meant to hurt either of you. I had no choice." Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over, cascading down my cheeks. My knees buckled and I sank to the floor, my back leaning against the oven as I sobbed into my hands.